December

Annual Memorial Service (Video Available)

Rhody Family Funeral Home

Welcoming

It is our honour to open our hearts and doors to our community for our annual memorial service. We set aside these sacred moments each year amid the busyness of the season to remind us that it is so important to create space for us to remember and grieve together for those special people who were part of this world and part of each of your journeys.

We will lead us all through memories of lives lived, stories told, and pictures shared. We will speak the name of each person, each special in their own way. Finally, every family will have an opportunity to take home a special personalized gift to carry close to your heart.

The holidays are a time for family. A time of gathering. A time to bring hearts and minds home. As the popular song goes “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” But, for those who have experienced a death—the carols ring hollow, the lights are too bright, the gatherings are too sad with an empty space in the circle of the family.

Each grief journey is unique. It is singular to you. You may be overwhelmed by emotion and debilitated by loss. Or you may quietly tuck your sadness inside and walk along in silence, buffeted by the jostling crowd and the frenetic activity.

Today each person brings their individual journey to this place, to this sacred time feeling alone and isolated in your grief. You come from a myriad of backgrounds, of beliefs, of experiences. But the defining trait that everyone in this room shares is a death, a loss—your heart has been broken and you are searching for a way to put the pieces back together again.

What better way than to share this time with others who understand what you are feeling. An opportunity to meet someone, to exchange a word, a knowing look or a hug. Today we are companions, fellow journeyers with the hope that the weight of your burden will be just a little lighter from the sharing as we acknowledge and honor the special people in each of your lives.

Musical Selection

Never Not Remember You

Cooper Alan

I know you’re up in heaven
But damn it hurts like hell
‘Cause I’d just be pretending
If I said anything else
And I know God don’t make mistakes
But this sure feels like one
That won’t change the facts
That won’t bring you back

So I’ll cry ’cause it’s over
And smile because we had you
Packed a whole lot of living
Even though it ended all too soon
And in time, I’ll start healing
But even when I get that feeling
No matter where I go or what I do
I’ll never not remember you

Thank God for all the memories
And pictures on my phone
They don’t fill the empty
But I feel less alone
And I know you’re with the angels
Right where you belong
‘Cause you were one to us
You left a legacy of love

You lighting up a whole room like that
You made us think, made us feel, made us all laugh
You always giving that shirt off your back
I miss you bad, I miss you bad

So I’ll cry ’cause it’s over
Smile because we had you
Packed a whole lot of living
Even though it ended all too soon
And in time, I’ll start healing
But even when I get that feeling
No matter where I go or what I do
I’ll never not remember you

Oh, I promise you
I’ll never not remember you

For thousands of years, humans have used bells to invoke collective memory, rituals, or a call to daily prayer. Meant to beckon from beyond the visible realm, a bell calls us toward healing and divinity.

The ringing of the funeral toll goes back to 16th century England. King Henry VIII and Queen Elizabeth wrote the specifics of how the death knell should be practiced. They introduced it into Canon Law. The church used the ringing bells to alert the local communities of someone dying or of a recent death.

Bells sound to mark the reading of the names on the anniversary of the April 19, 1995, Oklahoma City Bombing and the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. These days have become national moments of service and remembrance.

We even learned in the classic movie It’s a “Wonderful Life” that every time a bell rings, an angel gets their wings.

And, of course, during these holiday moments, bells are everywhere – on decorations, in songs, on packages. Jingle Bells is the soundtrack of the season.

Bells speak to our spirits and our souls and invite us to stop and reflect and embrace the moment of remembering.

So, today the bell tolls for those we honour. Those we loved and admired in life. Those who leave behind a legacy for their families, their friends and our collective community. Those who will be missed by so many, each and every day.

We ring the bell for all the children.

We honour each of you who have lost a child. Whether a little soul who never had a chance to say hello, or a little spirit who was here for the whisper of a moment, or a young person whose light went out way before it was time, or a grown adult who leaves behind a hole in the fabric of a family. There are no words to ease this grief. There is only a surrounding of people who are willing to hug you with compassion and understanding. We honour your journey and wish for you comforting memories for the season.

We ring the bell for the spouses and partners.

We honour each of you who have lost a spouse, a life partner, a soul mate, the other half of your heart. Whether you were together for months or decades, the love that was shared changed who you were and how you saw the world. Their handprints remain on your heart today and tomorrow and for the rest of your days. We hope that you can find small moments of joy and release in the memories of holidays past and depend upon your family and friends to gently remind you that you are never alone, even when the solitude feels so big

We ring the bell for all the parental figures.

We honour each of you who have lost a parent or a grandparent, an in-law or that person who stepped in to fill an important parental role. Those people who were your first friends, your first guides, your first examples of how to live in the world. Whether the relationship was warm and supportive or difficult and challenging, there is a part of your heart that always belongs to those people who were a vital part of your beginnings. Sometimes we truly do not understand how much room they occupy in our journey until they are no longer there to rely on, to talk to, to roll your eyes at, and/or to laugh and cry together. During these holidays, find a time to light a candle in their memory, hang a stocking, or put a special ornament on the tree just to say, ‘I remember’.

We ring the bell for all those special members of the family who are not here to complete the circle.

We honour those of you who have lost a sister, a brother, an aunt, an uncle, a cousin, a nephew or a niece. Those people who shared your history, your success, and your defeats, who cheered for you or teased you, who were always there or only available on special occasions.

Their presence in your experience helped shape your understanding of how to navigate the journey. They were good examples or great examples of what not to do. No matter what, they are part of the very fibres of your heart.

Musical Selection

Beat You There

Will Dempsey

I don’t know why God always takes the good ones first
And man, I’ve tried to be strong and carry on, but damn, this hurts
And I just wish that I could talk to you again somehow, someway
Even if it’s for a moment, so I can hear you say

Don’t cry for me, I’m alright
I’m better than you know
And this life can be a short ride
So don’t waste it on sorrow
And just hold on to those moments
And the memories we shared
We’re both headed for the same place anyway
I just beat you there

I know they say, “Just give it a little time, you’ll be okay”
That might be true, but it doesn’t really help me today
And we ain’t supposed to question the man upstairs
There’s just so much I don’t understand, it just don’t seem fair

And as each day goes by, I get a little bit stronger
But that don’t stop me from wishing you were here a little bit longer
Whoa, oh, oh

So I’m gonna smile when I think of you
Like I know you’d want me to
And I know you’re watching over me in everything I do

And all those things I never got to say
Well, I’ll send ’em with this prayer
Then look up, wipe my tears and raise my beer, mm
And I’ll see you there

And I’ll see you there
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

And now we will name the names because that is the most sacred responsibility we carry, to remember to say their names.

We remember…

We recognize that there may be so many other losses that are being quietly carried among you. Those precious names and impactful souls who touched the world in their own special way, and who may have died before this past year, or the loss of income, a home, a separation or divorce, the loss of health – surgery, illness, weakness.

Stop and ring the bell to remember, to honour, to create a space in the universe where they are celebrated yet again. That truly is how the light gets in.

As we close this sacred time together, we thank you for your respect and reverence, for your willingness to enter into the collective experience of remembrance and grieving.

We hope that you will:

Continue your time with a spark of inspiration and gratitude, that having stopped for a moment, you are now even more prepared to carry on.

Find something that brings a smile to your face.

Find someone who can give an ear for a story or a shoulder for a tear.

Find a moment of silence and solace to heal your soul.

Find awe in the beauty of nature.

Find the purpose and focus in carrying on the legacy of your loved one.

Find yourself as you devote yourself to others.

Find special memories at the tolling of a bell.

Let us complete our time with a moment of silence and prayer.

Holy One, Bless each person here as they come with broken hearts and brave spirits, determined to honour those special people who brought light to the world. We claim the assurance that you are here to wrap them in comfort, compassion and love. For these gifts for this time, we are grateful. Amen.

And so now, in this sacred time, we invite everyone to stay for a time of refreshment and recollection with neighbours, friends, and family. As you leave, Nathan and Jana will send home with your family a little keepsake as a remembrance of your loved one.

Let us close with a final blessing.

To everything there is a season

A time of love, a time of sharing and a time of memories.

In each season let yesterday’s memories lead you

In every time of need

Count your blessings as well as your tears

Fill your heart with the best of the past

And hope will come to you

Keep your eyes on the good times

And feel the love surrounding you

There will always be times of trial

But for every sorrow, there is hope

For every tear there is love.

As you work your way through your valley of sadness

May strong and lasting memories be your comfort

As you journey down this road of many branching paths

Let’s walk together.

Go in peace and take care of each other. Amen.

Musical Selection

Memory Lane

Haley Joelle

I walk down memory lane
‘Cause I love running into you
“How are you? I’m doing great”
And I have you back for a few

I just love the idea
When I see ya in my head
That’s why I walk down memory lane
‘Cause it’s the only place
That I have you again

You tell me all your bad jokes
I laugh when the punchlines end
You’re wearing your yellow coat
The one you were wearing when

We danced in your old kitchen
I still miss it every day
I’ll always laugh at all your bad jokes
While I keep walking down this road ’cause

It’s all that I have left of you
No, there’s nothing left for us to do
Here on Earth, so all our memories
Are my all-time favorite movie

The older that I get, the more
I can’t let you go yet
Every birthday and holiday
Wish you were here to celebrate

So I walk down memory lane
‘Cause I love running into you
“How are you? I’m doing great”
And I have you back for a few

You know I’d walk for miles
For that smile not to end
That’s why I walk down memory lane
‘Cause it’s the only place
That you haven’t left yet

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